THE 9-11 ANNIVERSARY EXTRAVAGANZAS

It's coming up again. You can see evidence of it on television, in magazines, newspapers, press conferences...

There is something about 9-11 anniversary events that seem disingenuously celebrated. I am speaking from my own perspective here. This is a wholly personal statement.

Ratings grabbers (on or around 9-11)
Strategic timing of TV and big screen movies (on or around 9-11)
Launching marketing campaigns (on or around 9-11)
Scoring political points (on or around 9-11)

9-11 mourners are now a valuable demographic. Everyone is clawing to own the greatest percentage of the 9-11 market share.

I won't participate.

September 11th on every year for the rest of my life is a day of mourning. I don't think about my politics on this day so stop trying to sell me something.

Monday the 11th will be much like other days for me except that I will have that talk with my grown daughter again about how we spent that day sitting on my bed crying, uninformed, unaware, frightened, calling my sister who lives in Manhattan and getting nothing but a dead line, watching the news and wondering if this is it. Watching people throw themselves from a tower because of utter hopelessness. Listening as "they" declared our metropolis a possible target at any moment. Not moving from that bed while we declared how much we loved each other. It could have been the end, we were ready for that. There is no moment that compares to that kind of awakening. We didn't know what being afraid was until that day. We didn't comprehend sadness until that day.

This weekend my 11 year old nephew will ask me again - as he does every year - why people blew up the buildings in New York. And I will try again to explain to him the world reality that he is inheriting.

I will remember again how fortunate I was to hear my sister's voice, to know she was not there or near enough that I lost her. But I, along with all of us lost 3,000 family members. To grieve for an eternity would not be long enough.

I will remember again that even greatness can fall victim to its vulnerabilities.

I am grieving on this day. Leave me alone. Sell your wares somewhere else, I am not buying or tuning in.

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